(no subject)

[usernamenumber]

I have to share something I just read on b0st0n. Someone was griping about a phonespam she'd recieved about the danger of homosexual "recruitment" in schools.

perich replied with this:

How do gay people "recruit" anyway?

Gay Recruiter: Hey! Do you like having sex with men?

Straight Teenager: No!

GR: You sure?

ST: Yeah, I'm sure!

GR: Well, I'll tell you what. Why don't you just try it, and ...

ST: No!

GR: C'mon ... just try it this one time, and ...

ST: Dude, no!

GR: We'll throw in a free tote bag. And an umbrella!

...

Seriously, how do you "recruit" across sexual preferences, which are some of the most deep-seated preferences in the human psyche?

To which oakenguy responded with this gem:

I'd tell you, but then I'd have to give back my toaster. And since it plays showtunes when my toast is ready, I'm taking that little baby to the grave with me.

It's a toaster! That plays show tunes! Wow!!! Can you tell I got five hours of sleep last night?

Back to work now...

Comments

[slyviolet.livejournal.com]

...dork. *grin*

But yes, I think most logically-minded people, if asked to stop and think about it for a moment, would see the ridiculosity inherent in alternate sexual identification "recruitment." It's not a fricking army, people. Even if I do agree with Eddie that the 4th Battalion Transvestite Brigade would be awesome. "Parachuting behind enemy lines with fantastic makeup! ...and a fantastic gun."

[usernamenumber.livejournal.com]

It reminds me of something I once heard from another standup: "The gays: We'e looking for a few good men"

[andmydog.livejournal.com]

...I want a toaster that plays show tunes!

[aerynvale.livejournal.com]

Wow, small world. I know Oakenguy peripherally through some other Bostonites.

Also lol gay recruiting lol

Do I get a signing bonus of having the Fab 5 redecorate my place?

[doctor-samuel.livejournal.com]

I actually don't think that sexuality is really that deep-seated, psychologically. It's easy to convince someone to "try it" once with almost anything, sexually. I think that's the argument. It's a slippery slope. There's almost even validity to it, except that most gay people have better things to do with their time than have mediocre and awkward sex with straight people.

[usernamenumber.livejournal.com]

Hehe.

I just have to point out how amused I am that in writing this post I actually had no intention of starting a conversation, or even soliciting comments, on "gay recruitment". I only mentioned it because I thought that the show tunes toaster couldn't be properly appreciated without context. =:)

Come on, people. It's a toaster! That plays showtunes when your toast is ready! Where do I sign up?

Gay Recruiting Officer: Yeeeeeees?
Me: ...Oh.