Advanced double entendre

[usernamenumber]

preraphaelite and I have a meme. We wish to share this meme with the world, that it might flourish.

I call it "advanced double-entendre". It follows this pattern:

"I'm gonna ____________ that ___________ so hard, _____________________"

The first and second blanks can be any action/object pair, preferably one it is silly to describe as having done "so hard". The third blank must be both suggestive and actually applicable to the given action.

By way of example, the whole thing started with me inviting zapf to our production of A Midsummer Night's Dream (to which all of you should come as well, natch). I handed him a flyer, and the following dialogue ensued:

Preraphaelite: Oooh, he just invited you so hard!
Me: I invited you so hard, you're going to come... to my show.
Zapf: Get out of this house.

His reaction was stern, but fair. In any case, we have decided that this is fun, and have found it applicable to all manner of daily activities, such as...

Catching the bus: "I'm gonna catch that bus so hard, I'll be riding it all the way to Harvard Square!"

Apartment hunting: "I'm gonna rent this apartment so hard, the landlord's gonna have his vacancy filled!"

Playing chess: "I took that piece so hard, it was mate in one move!"

...etc.

I encourage others to join our game. Nay, we encourage you to join so hard...

update preraphaelite x-posted to her journal, so there are more comments to be read there.

Comments

[gower.livejournal.com]

"I'm going to grade these tests so hard, I'm going to be F'ing them all night long."

[preraphaelite.livejournal.com]

Yaaaayyyyy!!!!

[usernamenumber.livejournal.com]

That, my friend, is how it's done. :)

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Posted from my dinner break in western Connecticut: I'm gonna drive that route up the east coast so hard, my ass will be sore tomorrow.

I think I did it wrong.

[usernamenumber.livejournal.com]

The judges have conferred, and your submission is unanimously approved. :)

[rubicantoto.livejournal.com]

Who said anything about submission, perv?

Ooooh, see that: I just heckled that reply so hard, you'll be looking for your come back all night.

#gross

[usernamenumber.livejournal.com]

I knew I could count on you, sir.

[off_coloratura]

I'm gonna join this game so hard, I'm totally going to score.

[laurion]

I tried to come up with a witty entry for this so hard that I blew my shot.

[nevacaruso.livejournal.com]

I answered those phones so hard that I lit up all their dials.

(...I don't even know.)

[gower.livejournal.com]

Dammit. Now I can't stop.

"I'm going to go to the butcher so hard, I'm going to have a tenderloin."

"I'm going to build your cabinet so hard, you're going to get a fine wood finish."

I keep trying to think of a tennis tournament themed one that involves the phrase "top seeded" but I can't quite make it work.

[usernamenumber.livejournal.com]

Hmm... maybe you could do something with "in your bracket"? :)