usernamenumber | Short thoughts subsequent to the previous emodump...

Things to record/remember:

- Just because I was hurt doesn't mean Juldea did anything "wrong". I go back and forth sometimes as to whether she "should" have done some things differently, but sometimes I can also see myself doing the same thing in her position. I think it comes down to a very different approach to relationships, "the one", etc, and having spent a decade trying to make things work with someone who, for all her other qualities, was just not right for me, I can hardly pull rank there.

- ...but I can still be angry, because anger is a natural reaction to being hurt. Feelings are never wrong; only what you do with them can be judged. I've been trying not to feel my anger for a long time and it's done me no good. The way out of this emotion is through it, as long as I keep perspective.

- Regarding the sadness, not the anger, there is something bigger and deeper at work here than just the breakup. The weight and duration of the emotion far outweighs the stimulus. Something has been using it as a channel or trigger to get out and eat my brain. Maybe it's plain-old-depression, maybe I just deal really badly with rejection, maybe it's something else or, more likely, all of the above. I guess figuring that out is the next Big Project.

- I'm adding a "progress" tag because I'm sick of every post I make about this sort of thing being tagged as though I'm just treading water, which I don't think I am.

Thanks to everyone who's commented in support. No need for it here, I just really wanted to get this stuff out.