As thorough a life update as I can manage right now...

[usernamenumber]

It's really time I posted a substantive update to what's going on in my life. Every now and then, more and more frequently of late, I look at where my life is now vs where I've been and where I've been headed, and I feel amazed. Joyful. Lucky. I feel like I am living more truly to myself at this time in my life than I ever have in the past, and while I still feel a mixture of doubt and guilt at times over some of the things I've parted with along the way (the religion of my upbringing, my marriage, so much of what defined "me" for so long...), there is a certain peace that comes from knowing in your heart that you're doing right by yourself, for which no external validation can substitute.

In short, there has been a lot of change in the last several years, and this most recent year has been the one where I feel like maybe, just maybe, the post-all-that me is starting to come into focus. That's an illusion, of course, because I am now and always will be a continuum of states influenced by a continuum of circumstances, but I have changed my circumstances, had my circumstances changed for me by others, and been changed by said changes sufficiently that there is a sense of... newness, nonetheless.

This may be what they call a midlife crisis. Well, at least I'm doing something more interesting than buying a car.

In any case, there are a couple of Big Life Updates that I feel I should share. One is the result of my professional circumstances being changed for me, but ultimately leading somewhere good (I hope), and the other is about my romantic life, in which I like to at least pretend I hold my own reigns most of the time. ;)

For those who haven't heard, the short versions are:

I have been dating faerieboots since July and preraphaelite since November, and have been more happy with my romantic life than I ever thought I could be (my dance card is definitely full at two, though) ;)

and

After almost eight years with the company, today is my last day at Red Hat. In a few minutes I'll turn in my badge and longsuffering laptop, and then I will be officially unemployed for a weekend before starting as a program manager at Akamai on Monday.

I've been working on the long versions of these subjects off and on for days now, but some of this stuff is difficult to sum up, and my last student is about to leave, so I think I'm going to have to leave it at this for now. Suffice it to say, lots of Big Thoughts on both fronts, change is scary, but also exciting, and despite slipping back into my old habit of running myself ragged doing Stuff these last few weeks, I'm pretty happy about life.

More later, as time allows. ;)

Comments

[smacaski.livejournal.com]

starting as a program manager at Akamai on Monday

Hey, you'll be right near me! (I work at One Kendall) We should do lunch sometime--the power of Friendly Toast compels you!

Congratulations!

[fiatlouis.livejournal.com]

Changy change is changing, and all that. I appreciate your update, and I wish to send my congratulations on starting a new job, with all the optimism that offers. And a happy romantic life is an important aspect in and of itself!

[emp42ress.livejournal.com]

Congrats on starting at Akamai, and I hope it goes well for you.

[rhosyn-du.livejournal.com]

Hooray for awesome life changes! :D

[laurion]

Mmm. Friendly Toast.

[laurion]

Not so familiar with preraphaelite, but I can see faerieboots doing a lot of dance card filling. *grin*

Congrats on everything!

[rubicantoto.livejournal.com]

re: dating that is going well

Yay!

last day at Red Hat

Yay! Sometimes it's good to shake things up.

Program Manager at Akamai

GASP! You've become a suit!

----------

and to return to something earlier in your post, I think it's quite common to feel twinges of guilt about losing touch with some of your roots while you choose to commit to other paths. I prefer to think of it (in most cases) as refocusing/reorienting the self rather than rejecting dear parts of it. If you end up in the process sloughing off skin that no longer suits you, it's not because those former elements of yourself are objectively wrong.

And I'm with everybody else:
Congratulations
Changy change is changing (wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey, while we're at it)
You rule.

[in-water-writ.livejournal.com]

Yaaaaaay!

You, me, lunch, soon? I work in Tech Square!

[nevacaruso.livejournal.com]

Congratulations on the new job! :D

[tiurin.livejournal.com]

I love their fries. Crunchy crisp on the outside, soft on the inside. Suspect they do a two-step cooking process.

I wonder if they put prospective employees through some Hipster Quotient test, and only take the high-scoring ones.

[nurrynur.livejournal.com]

Wow! congrats on new job.. hope it goes well!

[real-green-tea.livejournal.com]

A friend of mine works at that place actually.

[hermitgeecko.livejournal.com]

Okay, so if I'd checked LJ in the last few days, I'd have known in a more timely fashion about the new job. Whoops.

Congratulations again anyway.

[hermitgeecko.livejournal.com]

I just realized my tone was odd. Please be aware I'm laughing at myself, not chiding you.

[sandrylene.livejournal.com]

Glad your dowry worked out. :)

Hope your first day is going well!