(no subject)

[usernamenumber]

Hrmmm... caffeine + 5mg of adderal. Feeling not-depressed for the first time today, and it doesn't feel like it's just a factor of the exercise. My leg is bouncing un-controllably, but my mood is good and I can concentrate (compulsive livjounalling notwithstanding). It's kind of scary how good the buzz feels. I've always been afraid of becoming one of those people who needs coffee or whatever in the mornings. Non-reliance on that sort of thing has always been a point of pride for me. And I've always been tired and subject to depression. Maybe instead of waiting until after I've crashed, I should try more readily identifying the days when I start out underwater and just "give in", and "risk getting hooked on" stimulants (by which I just mean caffeinated tea, but yes those are the terms I think of it in), and use that momentum to get some exercise, a change of scene when I need it, or at least something actually done at work so I can point to that if I lose it later on.

...then again, I can already feel it wearing off, I think. Meh. Treading carefully.