Meh. Depressed. Also, pleasure?

[usernamenumber]

theferret, who recently had to have emergency surgery for a burst appendix, is encouraging people to spend Friday, his birthday, going out and enjoying some kind of pleasure they have not indulged in lately in celebration.

Honestly, I can't think of anything. Not anything that's attainable, at least. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. In general I take pleasure in simple things, and when I want them I go out and get them. I am supremely fortunate to have a job that, while demanding a lot, also gives me the income and flexibility to do it while hanging out at a coffee shop, sipping tea and munching on a cookie, as I did today when sitting around the house started bumming me out too much.

But then again, maybe my inability to think of some great, un-indulged-in pleasure is just indicative of a lack of imagination on my part because, despite all this, I'm still depressed. The cookie, it does nothing.

I feel like I need a vacation. This is problematic because, like Sheridan from B5, when I try to picture myself sitting on a beach with nothing to do, it always ends with my head exploding (or, more realistically, me getting even more depressed, which I tend to do when I'm bored). And yet, between work, the move, and especially the breakup, I'm just... I actually considered purchasing a plane ticket to go see Jason Webley's big 11th Anniversary show (with Amanda Palmer, even) in Seattle tomorrow, because it was a pleasure I hadn't indulged in recently and because it was an escape from this coast... and yet, $500ish plus 20ish hours travel-time for one show... that is, perhaps, taking carpe diem too far. ...right?

So now I'm trying to think of something to do tomorrow, but there is a theme to all the things my mind keeps coming up with: "Fly to Seatle!", it says. "Go on a road-trip!", it says. "Just get in the car and drive!", it says. The theme is escape, but deep down I know that the things that are bumming me out are not things I can escape. A trip won't make me well-rested, which I know is at least exacerbating things, and it won't get me back together with Juldea, which only hurts more as it sinks in. Heck, when I imagine myself going on a spontaneous road-trip, she's still there with me by default. The thing that makes this the hardest is that she'd probably still be happy to go with me, and that we'd almost certainly have an awesome time. But emotionally I can't afford to have an awesome time with her right now... and that is so crazy-makingly depressing.

*sigh*. I should probably just go to bed early, try to get some sleep, take Friday easy instead of trying to do anything ambitious and just hope that it at least stops @#$@$ing raining. That would probably give me a bit more cope, but... so much for carpe diem.

*time passes*

Ok, so, maybe I have thought of an option after all. A pleasure I have not indulged in for a while is live music. And right now I am depressed and angsty, which means that if I can't go be all woo-woo at a Webley show, I can at least find a good punk or metal show and dance around like an idiot in the pit. Looking around there are actually a few choices, none of whom I'd heard of before, but all of whom look tempting for different reasons...

(note that from this point onward I'm basically just thinking out-loud, about bands, but feel free to chime in if you have heard of any of these, but maybe not interesting to anyone by me)

First up, in Alston (Harper's Ferry) for $12 is Jay Reatard, who was apparently a big deal in the east coast garage punk scene at some point in the past, and is known, at least according to his last.fm bio, for "over-the-top" live shows. Sounds promising. Anyone ever heard of him?

Getting a bit further afield, there's the "NH Deathfest" in Manchester, NH, which warrants attention by virtue of being headlined by a group called "Arsonists Get All the Girls" (Bonus, they're from Santa Cruz), if nothing else. Looks like it could be a fun metal show. At first listen none of the groups I've heard so far have really blown me away, but they haven't sucked either. No idea what the price is.

...which brings me to one of the more ambitious options, the "Artery Metal Tour" all the way in Buffalo, NY... holy crap, that's 9hrs away. Hmm.. futher than I thought. Nevermind. It's a shame, though, because what I've heard so far of the headliners, Carnifex is friggin brutal, and exactly what I could use right now. Nerts. =:\

Then, looping around to Alston again, there're some misc punk and metal groups with a straightedge/hardcore headliner-- again nothing I've listened to so far has really grabbed me, but it's close and only $7.



...so ok, at least I got to spend the evening listening to some new music and putting together options for something fun tomorrow evening. That was more useful than sleep... right?

Comments

[fiatlouis.livejournal.com]

Well, you are right that you cannot run away from your feelings, but for some folk (I don't know if you fall under this category), like my missus, distraction is a big help in healing hurts. So death metal show might be that, or road trip to a random place might be it either.
Also, yes, upstate NY is a lot bigger than I realized. E and I are taking a trip through upstate NY, and just trying to figure out driving distances, we realized how much of it there was!

[wombatbanana.livejournal.com]

Logan to Buffalo is a pretty cheap flight if you want to go that route.

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Sunday, 1pm, The Middle East Upstairs: Whole Wheat Bread. Southern Ghetto Punk. I desperately want to see these guys, but I'll be at D&D.

[usernamenumber.livejournal.com]

Argh, we're moving all day Sunday (big truck rented, people coming over to help out, etc), but ooooer they sound good! Oh, also on eMusic, it seem *snags album*.

[ultimatepsi.livejournal.com]

Punk music always helped me feel better after a breakup. If you're looking for a out-of town doing-something experience, maybe go to a convention.

[usernamenumber.livejournal.com]

That is a good suggestion. I'm going to Threads the weekend after next, which is like a mini-con unto its self, and then probably going on a road trip to Cedar Point with friends the weekend after that, so hopefully those will accomplish something similar.